Ever have that feeling, like something was just a lie the entire time? That's how my whole marriage feels. Like one big giant lie. Did he ever really love me? Probably not. At least so it feels. I know I loved him. It all just never has made any sense. He came back and was just gone. Got of the plane and had his mind already made. Waited for weeks to tell me. Acted as if things were going to get better, maybe. I feel like such a fool. To invest so much time and my heart into a relationship for it to just go down the drain. Its hard not to be bitter. To tell me your just ready to move on, but taking your sweet time to file the papers. What am I supposed to think?
I just want a straight answer. I don't think its too much to ask.
I feel so jerked around. How do you do that to someone and live with yourself as if your doing the right thing?
How do you move on and not be scarred for life and open your heart to someone again?
But again I hear its all me. Figures.
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